You Never Know
by Pokeluv101
Summary: They say you never know what you have until it's gone. Lucy never understood that saying until she meet Atsushi. {AtsuLucy}


**Disclaimer: I do not own Bungou Stray Dogs or any of the characters**

* * *

They say: _You never know what you have until it's gone_. Lucy never understood what that meant and thought that it was a silly saying. It should be obvious to a person what they had, especially if that thing was material. She never understood that saying until him.

Lucy was paying for her groceries when she noticed a commotion in the aisle next to hers. Her heart stopped a little when she saw that Atsushi was in the next aisle. They weren't enemies anymore but she always found herself nervous whenever she saw him. He was trying to pay for his purchases as well but it seemed like he didn't have enough money to pay for everything and was debating what to put back.

"I can't put back the tofu. I promised we'd have tofu stew tonight. Maybe I can put the cookies back… but Ranpo wanted them and that's the entire reason I came here." Lucy heard him muttered and sighed. It always astounded her how kind and considerate of others he was. She wondered if there was a time he put himself above others. But it seemed that kindness was now working against him.

The clerk handed her several bags full of groceries and Lucy thanked him. At first, she intended to walk away but she found herself walking towards Atsushi instead. "Pardon me, how much does this man owe? I'll pay for the remainder."

"Lucy?" Atsushi was surprised to see her. They saw each other often because she worked in the café below the detective agency but they didn't meet outside of their jobs much. He was surprised that she approached him since he thought she disliked him because of how distant she was whenever they spoke. He wished that they could be friends but didn't want to force her to be friends with him.

"Here you go." She handed several bills to the clerk before she turned to address Atsushi. "Next time, plan ahead so this doesn't happen again."

"Wait," Lucy started to turn away but Atsushi took her hand to stop her. His sudden action shocked both of them. It was instinctual to reach out to her and he didn't know what to say next so fumbled over his words. With a small blush, he took her bags from her. "Let me carry your bags to thank you. Are you taking this to the café or are you going home?"

"They're practically the same. The owners are letting me rent a room on the same floor as the café." Lucy told him and he nodded. She was surprised that he could carry so many bags but he didn't appear to be having any trouble. He was stronger than she thought and she remembered the time they fought. For someone with such a powerful ability, he was very gentle and reserved with his strength.

"We have very nice weather today. Are you working today? It would be a shame if you had to stay inside on such a nice day." Atsushi tried to make small talk with her as they walked. "It's almost Autumn so we don't know how many more days like we'll have like this before it gets colder."

"I really don't mind the cold since I'm used to it. I grew up in Canada and the first snow is always a blizzard. I doubt Japan has weather like that." Lucy shrugged. She was used to the cold since she grew up with little warmth around her, both figuratively and literally. When she lived in the orphanage, she had little but rags to wear and that couldn't keep her warm.

"Do you like Winter? There's a lot of fun things to do in the snow like making snowmen and such. I think this is the first time I'm really looking forward to snow. I get to try all those things now." Atsushi had a small, grateful smile and she could understand the childlike wonder he had as he spoke. They both grew up in abusive orphanage that didn't allow them even the simple pleasures of life.

"I wouldn't say I like winter." It would be more accurate that she tolerated the cold weather. Lucy didn't want to tell him that because he would only pity her more. They had similar pasts but she didn't understand why he wanted to help her just because of that. She liked to think that she had put everything behind her when she left the Guild and didn't carry any ghosts with her.

"Then Summer?" Atsushi asked and he seemed genuinely interested. There was something about his eyes that tempted her to lower her defenses around him. They were free of judgement and Lucy knew that she could be honest without him mocking her.

"I like Spring and seeing the world change. When I was a little girl, I always dreamed about leaving the orphanage and growing up on a farm. There would be so many apple trees that I can eat whenever I want and no one would yell at me when I do. I'd become best friends with my neighbour, Diana, and we'll get into so much trouble together but have so much fun as well. And— I'm sorry, I must be boring you."

"You're not." Atsushi reassured her quickly and shook her head. She didn't look convinced as she pouted at him and turned away. Lucy began to twirl a stray strand of her hair and he wondered if it was a habit of hers. He didn't realize he was staring at her until she snapped at him with a blush.

"It's rude to stare."

"I'm sorry." Atsushi said quickly and he wondered why he was always apologizing to her. He always found himself nervous around her but he didn't find her frightening. She was a little intimidating but he had to respect her determination. Anyways, he knew deep down she was kind because she helped him escape Moby Dick. "I didn't mean to stare. Your hair's really pretty."

"It is?" They both blushed at his words. From the corner of her eyes, she saw him nod. Lucy pulled her bandana over her hair, nervously. Honestly, she never liked her messy, red hair because many of the children in her orphanage would tease her about it. Atsushi was probably the first person to compliment it. "You don't need to lie to me just to be nice."

Before Atsushi could speak, Lucy quickened her steps and hurried to the café, leaving him to follow her. He did think that her hair was pretty but he could see that she was slightly uncomfortable with the compliment so didn't say anything further. "Please, wait for me Lucy!"

* * *

"What the hell?" Lucy's eyes widened when they neared the café and could see tables and chairs were dishevelled inside. Fearing the worst, she rushed inside. The ground was flooded and water pooled around her ankles but she didn't care as she waded through the water. "Ma'am, are you in here? Is everyone okay?"

Atsushi followed her into the café. He set down the bags hastily onto the counter so he could be prepared to fight. But it seemed their panic was unfounded when the manager of the café stepped out of the kitchen, uninjured. He saw their panic and quickly reassured them. "Everything's fine, Lucy. A pipe on the ceiling burst and flooded the café."

"I'm glad no one's hurt." Lucy let out the breath she was holding and felt her shoulders relaxed. The couple that owned the café were kind enough to take her in and she owed a lot to them. She looked around the café and groaned. "Well, this is a fine mess. We'll probably have to close the café for a while. Do you know how long it would take to repair the pipe and fix this place up?"

"We already called a repair man and he said that it would only take a couple days to repair. But I'm worried about you. Your room is flooded too." The manager told her and Lucy paled for a moment. "You won't be able to stay in there while we fix the pipe. Do you have anywhere to stay until it's fixed? My wife and I have a spare room you can stay in if you need it."

"It's okay. I'll find a hotel I can stay at until my room's fixed." Lucy didn't want to take more of their kindness than she already had. She had enough money saved up to be able to afford a couple nights in a hotel. "I'm a big girl so you don't need to worry about me."

While she appeared strong and confident, Atsushi couldn't help but be worried. He wondered if there was something he could do for her but he didn't know if she would accept his help.

* * *

When she opened her door, it was clear that she wouldn't be able to salvage much. At least, she didn't have many things of value to lose. A part of her wondered if she was cursed with bad luck as she picked up the book she left on her futon. It was now soaked through and Lucy doubted the pages would be legible even if she tried to dry them.

With a sigh, she placed it on her desk with the other books she had been accumulating. Lucy had been having trouble sleeping and spent most of her nights reading. She turned to her closet to pack some clothes for her stay at the hotel. Then she carefully wrapped the snow globe Alcott gave her and placed it in her bag as well. It was one of the few things she had of value but she would never sell it.

"Lucy?" There was a knock on her opened door and she turned to see Atsushi standing in the doorway. He appeared relieved when he saw her but he suddenly looked nervous when their eyes met. "I'm glad I caught you before you left. I talked to the president and he said you could stay at the agency's lodging. There's not enough rooms but you can stay with me and Kyouka!"

"Sounds a little crowded." She rejected his offer like he expected she would. "I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity." Atsushi countered smoothly. He expected her refusal so already thought of another angle. "You'll be paying us in coffee. Kyouka and I aren't the best at getting up early but coffee in the morning might help us. This will also be a great opportunity for you to practice making coffee too. It'll only be for a couple nights so we don't mind."

"… Alright." Lucy agreed after a moment and Atsushi's smile couldn't be any larger. He was the one that was helping her so she didn't know why he was so happy. Usually, she would question if Atsushi had an ulterior motive for helping her but she doubted someone like him could even be capable of something like that. "I just need to finish packing. I'm almost done."

"I'll help. Do you want to take these books with you?" Atsushi asked and picked up one of the books on her table. He was surprised to see that they were mostly romance novels. Blushing furiously, Lucy snatched the book from his hand and shoved it out of sight. Despite appearances, she had a soft spot for romantic things and stuff animals.

"Don't touch other people's things, Idiot! I'm fine packing on my own so just wait outside." Lucy pushed him outside and closed the door between them. Even with him out of her room, she could feel her heart racing. She knew she reacted poorly when he did nothing wrong but she didn't know how to react to his kindness. Even if she didn't know how to express it, she was truly grateful.

* * *

"Lucy?" Atsushi walked out of his room for a glass of water but was surprised to find that Lucy was still awake. It was past midnight but she was sitting in her futon with a flashlight in one hand and a book on her lap. She looked up and rushed to hide her book when she saw him. "It's really late. Can you not sleep? If you're uncomfortable here in the living room, you can use my room."

"I said I didn't mind and I don't lie." Lucy shook her head. He had offered her his room several times but she insisted that she could sleep in the living room. The futon he gave her was far more than enough considering that she slept in worse conditions. "I just got into this book and lost track of time. I'll go to sleep after I finish this chapter."

Atsushi disappeared into his room and Lucy thought that he was going back to sleep. She had to admit that she was disappointed to he left so abruptly and didn't say 'goodnight' to her. So, she took out her book and began to read again to distract herself from her own feelings. Lucy was surprised when Atsushi came back with a pillow and blanket in his arms.

"Do you mind if I sleep out here with you?" Atsushi asked and she tried to keep her voice even as she answered him.

"It's your house, you can do whatever you want." Despite her curt answer, he spread out his blanket next to her and laid down. He kept a respectfully distance between them, not wanting to invade her personal space. But he didn't want to leave her alone when he saw her furrowed brows while she was reading. His back was to her but he heard her ask. "Are you just sleeping out here to make sure I go to sleep? You really don't need to. The café's closed tomorrow so I don't need to wake up early."

"You didn't look like you wanted to be alone." Atsushi turned to face her. "I'm here if you wanted to talk. Even if you don't want to talk, I'll be here for you."

"Why?" Lucy asked in a quiet voice. Even she didn't know if she wanted him to leave or not. She hated being alone but she never felt comfortable in a crowd either because she always felt like an outsider. Surprisingly, there was a peaceful atmosphere when she was next to Atsushi.

"Because I want to." He answered her honestly. Lucy couldn't ask him anything further before he was asleep and she sighed. She couldn't understand him or a single thing he did. She was beginning to wonder if she would ever know why he was so kind to her but looking down at him, she wanted to know.

Gently, she adjusted his blanket to cover more of him. Her flashlight would most likely wake him so Lucy set her book aside and settled into her futon. To her surprised it was much easier to sleep with him next to her. As she fell asleep, she glanced at Atsushi.

You truly didn't know what you had until it was gone. She never knew her bed was cold until she felt his warmth next to her and took away that chill. She never knew that she was lonely until he kept her company at night and stole away the solitary silence. She never knew that she was lost until he helped her and took away her ghosts.

And Lucy was grateful for Atsushi.

* * *

 **I wanted to do a little twist on that saying. I was debating between AtsuLucy or AkuHigu.**


End file.
